Andy's Orals
(Youtube link- remastered by Andy Rivkin)
Top Ten Features of the New Building
10. Elevator can be used to age wine and cheese
9. The atrium can hold up to four professors and their egos at once
8. Strategically placed pillars discourage speeding motorists
7. Glass walls help building stay hot in summer, cold in winter
6. Lack of marker trays helps keep hall yellow boards sparkling clean
5. False ceilings perfect place to hide kegs
4. Driver's side air bags
3. North-facing windows allow up to 50 people to moon NOAO volleyballers 4. simultaneously
5. Glass wall in atrium perfect spot to meet women who can't find ladies 6. room
7. Four words: Big Screen Movie Night!
Faculty Scrabble Game
With Mike Drake, Jay Melosh, Don Hunten, Larry Lebofsky, and Jonathan Patchett
Jay: Ok, Larry. You go first.
(Larry sighs and dumps his tiles)
Hunten: I've got "adiabat" for 51 points.
Drake: I'll work off the "a" for "ale". 7 points.
Jay: Oh, I've got a good one: "miogeosyncline". That's 100 points to the nearest order of magnitude...
Drake: That only looks like 72 points to me, Jay.
Jay: Well, it's common knowledge the existing scoring system is inadequate. Brian Tonks and I worked out a new one for his dissertation.
Patchett: Here's "whacking". That's worth... er... I don't know. I'm a geologist... Larry?
(Larry sighs and dumps his tiles)
Hunten: centimeter-amagat for 90 points.
Drake: hmmm. I could put down "Eucrite parent body" (which I showed was Vesta) but I'll go for "lager" for 10 points.
Jay: Acoustic fluidization! That's worth 200 points and three publications!
Hunten: You can't do that. That's two words!
Jay: But you used centimeter-amagat.
Hunten: That's one word! It's hyphenated!
Patchett: Here.
Jay: CV? What's that?
Patchett: Carbonaceous Chondrite Vigarano normalized to Orgeil.
(All shake their heads)
Patchett: How about this, then? Be.
Hunten: Fine. five points.
Patchett: No, not Be the verb, Be beryllium. Triple word score, 264 points.
Hunten: N-O No! You're jeopardizing the entire scrabble game!
(Larry is asleep on the table)
Drake: Wake up, Larry. You're next.
(Larry wakes up, sighs) Hunten: (looking over Larry's shoulder) You've got four blanks, Larry!
(Larry sighs and dumps his tiles)
Hunten: Well, fine. If we're going to play this way, here's Nm. Newton-meter. 85 points.
Patchett: That's not Newton-meter. It's nanometer.
Hunten: Clearly, it's Newton-meter.
Jay: He's right, Don. It's a lowercase n.
Drake: hmmm. I'll just stick an "er" on the Be.
Jay: Berylliumer?
Drake: No, no, no. Beer. Six points.
Jay: Well, I guess we're all out of tiles. Who won, Mike?
Drake: Oh, I won.